I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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