My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
