I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
