Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you traded sex for a burrito?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
