dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
