I got chris browned last night
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
