the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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