please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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