goodnight i made you a song goodbye
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
