Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i think i have herpe
just one?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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