My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
