i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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