Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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