Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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