Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm like, not good at living.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
