So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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