another moral hangover. fuck.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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