In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
