Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
