Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
