Nicole vs. Life
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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