Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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