so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
