there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
