I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
