Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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