I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
