I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Couch. On fire.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
