just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
