He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
