I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
