so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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