Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
