The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I want you more than these girls want KFC
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
