also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
