The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
