I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
