In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
