So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
