i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
