You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
