Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
