First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
