Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
