This girl is more easily done than said...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
