ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
