If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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