I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
