my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Did I show you my penis last night?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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