But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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