The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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