we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
