I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
