someone owes me an orgasm
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
