I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
