Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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